Being a Writer with Multiple Identities Can Be Exhausting & Confusing ✍️✨
my thoughts on identity, work & flexibility - welcome back to The Slush Pile!
If y’all have been following this newsletter for a while, you’ll know that I do a lot of different things. Over time, I’ve become a multi-hyphenate human being who is: a writer of poetry, fiction, and creative nonfiction; an author; a journalist; a podcast host; a weekly columnist; a magazine editor and reader; a performer; a book reviewer; a speaker; and a teaching artist/workshop host. But outside of writing, I have a whole other slew of identities too, like small business owner, library student, social media coordinator, personal assistant, volunteer, and event organizer. This isn’t just Issue 31 of my newsletter (there’s another title for you: newsletter writer) — this is my real life.
If you’re getting dizzy reading this, I don’t blame you. Trying to balance all of these identities, not only mentally but also time-wise, sometimes makes me want to tear my hair out or start over completely. This push-and-pull, tug-of-war aspect of my professional life is hard to navigate on a daily basis, where each day brings something new and unexpected, so much so that, as much as I’m grateful, I have to be careful that I’m not spreading myself too thin. The truth is, I just want to do everything. Despite how overwhelming it can be to be me, I refuse the idea that I can only ever be or do one thing. I want my life to be limitless, even if that means having a lot on my plate. If I’m honest, I don’t know what I want this newsletter to accomplish; I just have to write about this issue that I’ve been struggling with for the past few years.
Though I like to believe that I’ve always been a writer, that I was always destined to become one, my approach to my work and practice wasn’t always this way. As a child, I loved writing cute little fictional stories inspired by my adventures and playtime with my friends. When I became a teenager, I roped poetry into the occasion and became known in school as someone who would go on to become a professional writer who would write poems and novels. This was such a widely accepted truth for so long that I accepted it. I thought these two genres would be enough for me.
So what happened? How did things change so drastically that I often don’t know what to say or where to start when people ask me what I do?
Honestly, I think it was a natural combination of education and necessity, a progression that unraveled in such a way that I didn’t even realize the changes at the time. When I went to college, I continued my studies in fiction and poetry throughout most of my undergraduate years, though it was really in my senior year when things began changing for me. I took my first-ever creative nonfiction class, which motivated me to start writing a memoir. I started volunteering as a staff writer for my school’s student-run newspaper where I dipped my toe into the world of journalism through reviews, interviews, and features. Again, though I never thought I would seriously pursue either of these creative avenues.
But this was the peak of the pandemic and I, as well as everyone else, really needed a job that would accommodate someone who wanted to work from home and who didn’t even have a car to commute them anywhere. I needed some way to financially support myself while I focused on my creative writing. So what did I do? I became a freelance journalist, as one does, and found myself writing, publishing, and getting paid regularly. I loved the work and I’m still in awe of how much it makes me happy, especially when assignments relate to something that I personally care about.
I can’t really pinpoint when exactly I started adding more titles to my resume. Honestly, I think I was just excited and anxious to do more, more, more and there were, surprisingly, a lot of people out there willing to give me opportunities. Some things were of my own accord, like starting my own podcast, book review page, and workshops. But I have my network and community to thank for being able to say that I’m a children’s book author and a columnist and “highly sought after” speaker. Many of these roles were given to me and for that, I could not be more thankful for I’ve professionally developed and grown over the past few years.
And yet, there are times when I wonder what would happen if I wholly dedicated my life to one thing. I get jealous when I hear people only call themselves poets. I envy people who can put out a novel every year because that’s what all their time is reserved for. Once, I was going to speak at a Career Day fair at my old high school and was in agony for days about what single word I would call myself. Would I talk about my job as a journalist? A general writer? A teaching artist? What was the best way for me to show up in the classroom?
This question of my identity comes up every time I introduce myself to someone new. Depending on the context, I may introduce myself in a different way and there’s always a split second of silence where I cycle through my Rolodex trying to figure out which title is the best and most relevant fit for the situation. Sometimes, I lie awake at night wondering if I could actually finish my novel-in-progress if only I could just stop doing everything else and let go of a few other projects.
But, of course, I am my mother’s daughter. Not only do I find it hard to say no or give anything up, but I also genuinely enjoy all the different types of work that I do. As strange and weird as it is to go from writing an interview feature to drafting a new poem, for example, or seeing a series of emails in my inbox all about drastically different things, I find it hard to imagine myself doing anything else or not having a planner that looks overwhelming and intimidating. I’m constantly toggling between jobs and genres and identities, answering an email about a writing workshop I’m hosting, then immediately answering a different one about an interview I’m conducting for work, only to then switch to doing my homework for library school. Most days, my life feels like one giant whiplash and I’m not exactly sure what to do about it. It’s exhausting and confusing, and there are so many moments when I wish I could live my life more simply.
At the end of the day, all I know for certain is that I want to write and publish books. If I had one tried and true passion of mine to choose, being an author is what I would pick every time. And if I have to take a bunch of pitstops along the way to get there, if I get to wear all these different hats and find new collaborators to work with and meet all kinds of people, then so be it—I’ll gladly take it.
notes from the writer’s desk ✍️
my favorite recently pub’d pieces:
Combining race, ethnicity on U.S. Census will lead to systematic erasure, The Daily Orange
Latina Historian Monica Muñoz Martinez Talks Preserving Southwest History, HipLatina
Q+A With Alyssa Reynoso-Morris, Author of “Plátanos Are Love”, LatinaMedia.Co
The Theatrical Re-Release of “Shrek 2” Deserves a Spanish Dub, LatinaMedia.Co
updates:
I have a whole line-up of upcoming events! I will be participating in a few events in April as a teaching artist and performer! See below for details and links to RSVP/buy tickets:
My crochet shop launched its new collection! If you haven’t heard, I have my own crochet shop Sofíe’s Yarn and we just released our love letter launch! If you love handmade crochet goodies and accessories like hair ribbons, wallets, purses, book sleeves, decorative pillows, bookmarks, and more, be sure to check out our new collection!
I’m so excited to announce the upcoming publication of my debut children’s book!! The book will spotlight past and present queer heroes from Latin America and the U.S. and is forthcoming from Jessica Kingsley Publishers. More info and details to come soon! In the meantime, please read this thread I wrote about the project.
resources:
Looking for book recommendations? Check out my Bookstagram and TikTok to keep up with what I’m reading and loving right now! On TikTok, you’ll also get more snippets of my everyday writing life and lifestyle/fashion content. See you there!
other stories i’m loving 📖
currently reading:
Grief Slut by Evelyn Berry
currently watching:
Bob’s Burgers S4
currently listening to:
“It’s Too Late” by Carole King
all my love,
sofía xx