I Am Trying to Take Care of Myself (And Am Doing a Bad Job of It) 🤒✨
my thoughts on self-love, care, & tenderness - welcome back to The Slush Pile!
February is supposed to be the month of love. And this year as I write Issue 42 of my newsletter, I’ve never felt more surrounded, supported, and bolstered by love - from my family, friends, partner, online mutuals, even strangers. It’s funny, how much I used to hate Valentine’s Day and now it’s one of my favorite holidays because it means my love for others and how I show up for them, being someone they can lean on, gets celebrated a little more.
But it’s also been a really tiring month, y’all. Each day and week has brought new challenges. There’s been joys as well, of course, like every moment I’ve been able to spend with my partner and our boy Buttons, or when we’ve celebrated my mom’s birthday over the course of not one but two dinners. But work has been exhausting, full of long, full-day schedules, uncertainties, and drives all over the SGV. I’ve had to find and secure a babysitter for Buttons at least 3-4 times a week. I don’t have time to make plans with friends. I’m tired.
The other day, I got the idea for this newsletter when I was talking to a mutual on the phone last week. At some point, she asked me what kind of work I did. I began telling her about four different things when she interrupted me and went, “Wait, when and how do you take care of yourself?” And for a moment, I didn’t know what to say. After a beat, I decided to go ahead and say something about sleeping a lot (going to bed at 8:30pm basically) and playing with my dog and hanging out with my partner. But not much more than that.
And while that was all true, I knew that wasn’t necessarily what she was asking. She wanted to know what I did to be kind to myself, to recharge after all of my writing events and writing projects and schoolwork for my master’s program and my job at the library and my freelance social media and journalism work and…the list could keep going on. It exhausts me, makes my head hurt even now to think about it. How did I take care of myself?
It’s a question many people have asked me over the years, like my mom and my therapist. And it’s definitely something I’ve written about. But for some reason, the gravity and weight of such an ask didn’t hit me hard, didn’t leave me breathless until that person asked me last week. Maybe it was because we had just met and yet she already recognized how much I had on my plate. Maybe it was how she said it.
But lately I’ve realized that I haven’t really been taking care of myself at all and how much it’s been weighing on me, how poorly I’ve been feeling. I get up early at 5am and stay up late unless I automatically fall asleep at 8:30 or 9pm. I’ve been eating out way too often instead of cooking at home. I’ve been spending too much money. I book almost every spare moment of free time that I can to celebrate not being at work, which leaves me tired for my shift the next day. I don’t exercise or do any kind of physical movement enough. I’m sitting down most days.
I genuinely like myself but you wouldn’t know it because I haven’t been nice, kind, or tender to myself, not in a way that feels sustainable. And I want to. I want to be better and for me, doing a thing requires me to write it down or say it out aloud for it to become real. I want to drink water every day, go to bed at a reasonable time, do face masks at night, take naps when I want to, read more instead of looking at my screen, go on walks with Buttons more often during the week, watch movies that make me laugh, be more selective about what I say yes to, use coupons when shopping, cook for myself, bake my favorite things and give whatever I make away, be at home with the people who make me the happiest, journal more instead of keeping everything inside, write the things that I can’t stop thinking about.
I guess in a way I already started this goal. Even though my newsletter comes out every month on the 15th, I allowed myself a few days to get it done this month instead of squeezing it in or overworking myself during an already busy day. Next month, I’ll try to schedule things so that it goes out on time but I’m also understanding that the world won’t end if I have to switch things up at the last minute. I have to be kind to myself. I want to take a breath. I must give myself grace.
notes from the writer’s desk ✍️
my favorite recently pub’d pieces:
updates:
⭐️AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER!⭐️ I’m so excited to announce especially to my subscribers that my debut children’s book, Queer Latine Heroes, is now available for preorder!! The book spotlights past and present queer heroes from Latin America and the U.S. and is forthcoming from Jessica Kingsley Publishers on September 18, 2025. Preorder on Amazon or Barnes and Noble!
⭐️UPCOMING EVENTS!⭐️ I’ll also be hosting an open mic at Matilija Lending Library in El Monte on February 23rd at 6pm featuring several incredible poets and dear friends including Salma Alejo, Franceli Chapman-Varela, Lina Belle, and Pedro Iniguez! Keep an eye out for more of my events in March!
⭐️WATCH MY TEDXTALK!⭐️ I’m thrilled to share that my TEDx talk, “The Power of Stories in Representing Our World” is now LIVE on YouTube! It would mean the world to me if you could watch, like, comment, and share with your classrooms, group chats, and everyone you know. Thank you for your support! Watch the talk here!
resources:
Looking for book recommendations? Check out my Bookstagram and TikTok to keep up with what I’m reading and loving right now! On TikTok, you’ll also get more snippets of my everyday writing life and lifestyle/fashion content. See you there!
other stories i’m loving 📖
currently reading:
Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo
currently watching:
St. Denis Medical, S1
currently listening to:
Waitress Broadway soundtrack
all my love,
sofía xx